i may or may not be watching the land before time
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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