Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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