Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
