I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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