That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
