it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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