I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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