this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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