so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
kristin has been a bad kristin
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
