Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
