grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
