if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
