Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
