i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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