the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i black out too much to be "responsible"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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