i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
