lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
