dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
