About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
