ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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