Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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