I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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