once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
