It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
