If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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