He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
