I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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