I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize