he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
