i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
