I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
