unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
