Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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