I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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