Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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