Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
