I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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