I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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