Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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