he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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