guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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