Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
