Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize