no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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