I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
