i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
