But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
