i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
