What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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