Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm at about main and main street
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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