I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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