He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
