Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I had to cum in my sink.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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