So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
