HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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