My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
