Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
