Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
