Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
