There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
